Our Little Secret
by Jubchili
Summary: After successfully faking his death, Loki now sits upon the throne of Asgard in the guise of Odin. However, with Malekith defeated, the Ether safe, and Thor on Midgard, Loki's reign has become rather dull. That is, until he decides to divulge his secret to a certain Asgardian Goddess of War. (First multi-chap fic ever)
1. The Storm

**I can't believe I'm writing this, but here goes!**

* * *

The sounds of swords and spears slicing through the air were a distant echo.

The courtyards were still and silent, the air thick and stale in the aftermath of a great battle. The reconstruction of Asgard had begun as soon as Thor had left with Loki for Svartalfheim, and it was nothing less than all hands on deck. The palace was still silent in the mourning of the Queen, as well as Loki - who were resting peacefully in Valhalla.

Lady Sif strode the silent halls with no aim or destination in mind. She had retired from her battle armour long since the All Father had detained her and the Warriors Three for their treasonous actions in letting Thor escape with Loki and Jane to Svartalfheim. Her dress trailed across the marble floors, footsteps echoing in the empty cavernous halls. If anyone looked at her from afar, they would not see a warrior, but a princess in deep contemplation, almost ghost like in the tranquillity of the noiseless palace.

She had parted ways with the Warriors Three when they had been released by the All Father after hearing about Thor's victory on Midgard. They were most probably helping with the reconstruction, mending the damage they themselves had been responsible for.

Thor himself had returned from Midgard, but only for a few days. After meeting with the All Father he'd informed Sif and the Warriors Three of his return to Midgard. They had had a boisterous night filled with all the traits of a good old fashioned Asgardian jamboree, but something seemed to be missing.

Sif concluded that it was the absence of Loki. Not his physical presence, just _knowing_ that he was gone forever, somehow subconsciously made them all steelier. Even the loss of Queen Frigga was a hard blow to them all. Sif knew that things would never be the same again, especially for Thor. One half of his family was gone for good, and although Sif knew loss, it could not compare to what he was feeling.

Sif reached an open courtyard and found the All Father Odin standing at the opposite end, looking over the city below.

She was reluctant to call out, in fear of disturbing his contemplation. Biting her lip restlessly her eyes darted from side to side, looking for anyone she could make an escape with. Doubtlessly Odin already knew she was standing there. She pursed her lips and adopted a stiff stride, walking towards the All Father with a solemn air about her.

When she reached his side, instead of speaking she observed the city below. From here one could see the vast expanse of the north side of the realm. In the distance the Bifrost glittered and shimmered with its brilliant rainbow colours. It looked ethereal, even for someone who has seen it everyday for hundreds of years.

"I thought you would have left with Thor, Lady Sif" Odin emitted, without turning to her.

"There is nothing for me on Midgard" From the corner of her eye, Sif saw Odin smile slightly.

"You went there before, for some missions?" Odin quipped.

His tone was somehow light-hearted. Very out of character. Then again with the events that had since passed, everyone had changed.

"Yes. To retrieve Lorelei. And then there was the nasty Kree business"

"Thor was quite troubled by that, you losing your memories"

"What was he afraid I would forget?" Sif smirked, still careful of her tone in Odin's presence. It was always far easier to speak to Frigga than it was to the All Father, at least in her case.

"Him" Odin half smiled and turned to Sif. "He cares for you more than you know, Sif. Don't forsake him just yet"

He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring look before heading away back into the palace.

That startled Sif for a moment. She had never heard the All Father speak so, for lack of a better word, sentimentally.

"I... I won't" She mumbled to herself. Turning, she glimpsed Odin turning a corner, disappearing into the silent halls.

The temperature seemed to drop drastically in those few moments, making Sif acutely aware of her surroundings. Something brushed against her hair, but when she turned to strike it turned out to be just the wind. The sky above darkened considerably. Storm clouds hovered around the distant mountains. Sif had no doubt that rain would shortly follow.

Before she could cross the open courtyard the water rained down. Her hair became a stringy mess and her dress was soaked in seconds.

 _Damn. My favourite dress that too._

After reaching the shelter of the inner halls she slumped against a wall and ran a hand through her clumpy hair. Her dress had left a dripping trail of rainwater behind her, which made her face red with rage and embarrassment.

 _Yet another thing to be cleaned. How tedious._

Although Sif wasn't going to be the one to clean it up, it still pained her when she unnecessarily gave more unpleasant work to the servants.

She pinched her nose in frustration. There was nothing for her to do, so why was she here? In this palace, on Asgard. She might as well have gone with Thor to Midgard. Doubtlessly there was something more interesting than an unexpected rainstorm happening over there.

She put all her strength into a punch to the wall, letting out a forceful grunt. She stared at the floor, a puddle of rainwater at her feet.

"Is little Sif vexed by something?"

Her head shot up. There was no mistaking that voice anywhere. Smooth, deep, silky; a silver serpent's tongue.

It was Loki.

* * *

From the shadows he watched her reaction carefully. Her eyes were darting from side to side, inspecting every crevice of the empty hall. Of course there was no way for her to see him, no matter how hard she looked. His concealment magic was simply incomparable.

For a second her eyes met his, and he tensed, almost afraid that she could see him. But her gaze left him as soon as it had caught him. He relaxed and strode to her.

Now he was right beside her. It was humorous seeing her reaction, the way her bright eyes scanned every area twice, and then twice again.

"Who's there? Face me" She seethed.

"Oh I think you know who it is" He breathed, right by her ear.

She jumped and spun around, her arms flashing out offensively. "You're playing a filthy game. Using the memory of the dead for your amusement"

She crouched defensively and circled, eyes searchingly trailing the hall, even the ceiling. He leaned against the wall and smirked at her.

"Mmm Sif, I can see through your dress" His voice gave the impression of a leer.

To his surprise she dropped her guard completely and stood up straight. The corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk.

"The _real_ Loki knows that I don't care. So why don't you show yourself" She spat.

He was quite taken aback, which was a rare occurrence. She was completely right, of course - he knew she didn't care for such things - but he hadn't expected her to remember that.

Her gaze settled on his own, and once again he was afraid she could see him. He quickly noticed she was staring past him. Her nostrils flared and her fists were clenched. She glowered in his general direction.

"How strange, Sif. I've seen you angry, but never like this" His voice echoed from everywhere, causing her to glance in all directions for the source.

"Oh don't worry. This is nothing compared to what I'll be like when you show yourself" She hissed distractedly - using half her energy to shout at him and the other half to look for him.

"I don't doubt it" He emitted, gliding to the opposite wall.

Although he could have simply appeared directly in front of her, he preferred something with more novelty and grandeur for his entrance. A bit of a show, you could say.

He relented on his weather-warping magic, and the rains gradually passed. The sky returned to its bright and glittering purple-blue shade.

When Sif's back was turned at the correct angle, he emerged from the shadows, revealing himself.

 _This is going to be extremely amusing._

* * *

When the rain abruptly stopped, Sif knew something was coming. Of course, she drastically miscalculated exactly what that something was supposed to be. Her eyes widened considerably when she felt a presence close behind her.

She spun around, and standing there in all his pompous grandeur was Loki; Son of Odin, Prince of Asgard. Or rather, Son of Laufey, Prince of Jotunheim. He was exactly same as when they had freed him. Same clothes, same hair, same snarky smirk plastered all over his face.

"Hello Sif. Surprised to see me?" His very _real_ voice drifted through the silent halls and echoed loudly.

"..." Sif was stunned to silence.

Her expression was paused at one of extreme shock and also apprehension. It was obvious that what she was seeing was unreal, for she was sure that Loki was dead, but the level of detail marked an extremely talented illusionist. As far as Sif knew the only one with such talents were Queen Frigga and Loki himself - both of which were impossibilities.

"You're not real" She stammered, mostly to herself. "You're not real. This is all a trick" She did a better job of convincing herself this time.

"Well it's a mighty good one then. I mean, look at me! I look marvellous" Loki spread his arms and motioned to himself. There was little lack of sarcasm in his voice, which annoyed Sif to no end.

"I see even in another's image you have no lack of witty comments, Silver Tongue" Sif's voice had a knife edge to it.

"Oh do people still call me that? How intriguing"

He strode, with his hands behind his back, towards Sif. She unconsciously stepped back when he got too close, and he half smiled as she did so.

"So tell me Sif," he leaned and brought his face closer to hers, "How does the 'Dead Me' look up close?"

"No uglier than the 'Alive You'" She blurted.

Loki considered the answer and shrugged. He stepped away from Sif and produced a staff from a pocket in the air.

"Shall we walk a bit?"

"I know you're not real, so you can stop bothering with this illusion, who ever you are" Sif's steely voice was resolute.

Loki raised an eyebrow, seeming rather hurt. "I am offended that you would think there was any other capable of such a detailed illusion, Sif"

"I know there isn't. Which is why I'm interested to know who you are"

"I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose" He echoed in a sarcastic tone, waving his staff about dramatically.

"You are not Loki. Loki is dead" Sif sighed, tired of having to reassure herself every time the illusion in front of her seemed more and more real - that it was just an illusion.

"Is he? Am _I?_ I'm sure you remember what happened the last time everyone thought I had died. Bit of a surprised really, even for myself. I thought for sure that I was gone for good that time" He paced back and forth while reiterating his narrow brushes with death.

Sif swallowed audibly. Loki smirked at her.

She was definitely starting to question her sanity at this time.

What if the Loki in front of her wasn't an illusion created by somebody else, but by her own mind? A way to cope with the loss and the sheer devastation of the events that had come to pass because of Malekith and the Ether. Suddenly she sighed with relief. If she was truly going mad, then it was something she alone could control. This 'Loki' was just a figment of her imagination, obviously.

If there was someone who was using the memory of Loki as an illusion to annoy her, that would indeed be more problematic than her losing her mind. After all, an Asgardian warrior had a very steely mind. With a relaxing bath and a good rest, Sif was sure this whole thing would pass soon.

"Fine" She said with a drastic change in tone. Even Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Fine what?"

"Fine, you are Loki of Asgard. Burdened with glorious purpose" It was becoming tough to keep the sardonic tone out of her voice.

"Oh my sweet Sif, you insult me, but I-" Loki abruptly jerked his head to one side, as if listening intently. His eyes became unfocused and his staff twirled absent mindedly in his hand.

 _Is this it? Has my mind decided to finally revert to reality?_ Sif was becoming excited. This whole fiasco would be over and done with for good.

Loki came back to reality as suddenly as he'd left it.

"Unfortunately I have some pressing matters to attend to" His image started to fade, and Sif was becoming happier by the second.

"Don't worry though," he was almost gone now, "I'll be back for you" His last words echoed in the hall, making Sif shudder.

It was a promise or a warning, and for Loki it was usually one and the same.

Sif had a bad feeling that it wasn't over yet.

Her mind's games had just begun.

* * *

 **Gah Sifki is beautiful but we have like 0 MCU canon content for them, except a few scenes in Thor 2.**

 **Pls review at your leisure.**


	2. Apparitions

**Ermehgherd thanks for the positive feedback. I love you all 3 I know this took a while to update, mostly because I'm LAZY and writing is so tedious, but when I get it done I feel so proud and elated.**

 **Btw this fic will be pretty short - 20 chapters or so. Don't worry, there'll definitely be some sexy times ;)**

* * *

The rest of the day dragged on uneventfully. With the nine realms at peace there was little for Sif to concern herself with. She'd often venture to other realms to visit foreign friends, but Heimdall had forbidden any departures and arrivals through the Bifrost until Thor's return - for the safety of Asgard, of course.

Sif found herself wishing Loki's apparition would return to bother her so she'd have something to be annoyed about, and would therefore have a good excuse to punch a wall. Or anything really.

Finding nothing of interest to alleviate her boredom, she set out towards the kitchens. As she approached, the sweet and salty smells of lunch being prepared wafted through the air, invigorating her senses. Now, although she was not as big a gourmand as Volstagg, she still had an appreciation for fine Asgardian food.

Not bothering to wait for the food to be laid out on the dining table, she threw open the kitchen doors and greeted the chefs informally. Sif, along with the Warriors Three, Thor, and Loki, were frequent visitors of the kitchens, and hence were welcome at any time. Of course, these days their visits were scarce, especially together as a group.

She leaned against a counter and popped a strip of tender beef into her mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully. The kitchen became suddenly silent, and a sudden clank of dishes behind her startled Sif. She spun around and saw no other than Loki, of course, dressed in chef's attire with his hair tied neatly back. He glanced at her over his shoulder and smirked.

He turned around slowly and she could see that he was spinning a knife with his hand. Sif was half afraid that he was going to throw it at her, but she didn't doubt his dexterous control over it. She had seen him fight with all kinds of knives numerous times before. He had unparalleled skill.

Sif scanned the kitchen carefully and saw that none of the other chefs had noticed anything different about the place. The illusionist must have been using some sort of filter to ensure that Loki's apparition only appeared before her eyes.

"Only you can see me, Sif" Loki clarified nonchalantly, leaning back on the counter using his elbows as a support. He stopped twirling his knife and instead used it to file his nails.

"I figured" Sif whispered, afraid that the other chefs would see her talking to herself and think her mad. That was the _last_ thing she needed now.

"I'm bored, aren't you?" Loki pushed himself off the counter suddenly and closed the space between them. Sif tried hard not to raise a hand at him. She had to look up to regard him squarely, but her gaze was no less menacing.

"What do you want?" She hissed under her breath, glancing around to make sure no one was watching her closely.

"Entertainment. And you're it" Loki reached out with the speed of a serpent and grabbed Sif's wrist.

"NO!-"

His mouths formed the first words of a spell and just as Sif cried out both of them disappeared. A few of the chefs heard her exclamation and turned to where she previously stood, completely puzzled. Most of them shrugged it off and got back to work. A few others shrugged and went back to things other than work - probably eating.

But all of them shrugged it off nonetheless.

* * *

Sif slipped and lost her footing as she pulled away from Loki, but instead of finding the support of the counter behind her, she fell, her back hitting the ground hard. Loki stood above her, his signature smirk spreading wide over his face.

"You better get up Sif. Odin will be here soon"

"Wha- What?" Sif mumbled, still in a daze from the spacial transport. Her vision cleared in moments and she got a view of her surroundings. Which she found to be an ornate room with large murals and gold carvings all over the walls. The room radiated 'Royal'. One wall was lined with a shelf packed with tattered leather bound books. Suddenly Sif's thoughts stopped all together.

 _Royal? SHIT!_

Sif shot up and spun around to face Loki.

"What have you done!? I can't be here!" She ran to the door and pulled with all her strength, despite knowing that the only way to open the door was from the outside with the All Father's own sceptre.

"Isn't that the point?" Loki watched her struggle go on for a bit longer before resigning himself to a chair. He poured two glasses of Asgardian wine.

"Would you like a glass? It's very good. Odin always keeps the good stuff to himself, you know" Loki said, completely ignoring Sif's hostility.

"Bastard! Get me out of here! The All Father will murder me for this!"

"I doubt that. He would have to face my brother's uncontrollable wrath" Loki crossed one leg over the other and swivelled his wine. Sif scowled at him.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean, Loki. Or whoever you are"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I am not myself?"

Sif sneered. "Are we really back to that argument?" Her face hardened. "Loki is _dead._ Dead. Do you understand?"

"No" Loki stated, providing no more than that. Sif gave up and went back to hammering at the door.

"When I find out who created you, they'll be sorry they ever tried to abuse Loki's memory" Sif murmured to herself. But Loki heard it clear as day.

"I'm surprised you have such a high regard for my _memory,_ Sif" His voice turned sour at the word.

"It's not YOURS!" Sif smashed the door with her hardest punch yet, which actually managed to rattle it at the hinges.

"My my, no need to yell about it, Sif" Loki stood up and placed his wine back on the table. He picked up Sif's glass and scrutinized it for no particular reason.

"Where's that 'Lady-Like' attitude gone off to?" He mocked as he glided across the room to her, wine glass in hand.

Sif took no notice of him until he was a towering figure looming behind her. When she turned around her back was pressed to the door by Loki's proximity. He bent down so he their faces were at the same level and raised an eyebrow, offering her the wine glass. He tilted his head towards it, and Sif, overtaken by annoyance, took the glass and downed the entire thing in one gulp.

"There she is!" Loki stepped away and spread his arms out. He smiled smugly before spinning around and walked with a skip in his step towards the far wall. He leaned against it with one leg, and crossed his arms, a classic position for Loki, according to Sif. Her expression turned from annoyance to abhorrence.

"Loki, whoever you are, please help me get out of this room!" Sif pleaded half-heartedly, completely sure that she would receive no such help. "The All Father will be enraged" She leaned back against the door, defeated.

"I am Loki. And that is probable" He chuckled.

"I hope he shows mercy. If the All Father is anything, he is kind and noble" Sif exhaled audibly.

Loki's expression turned from amusement to spitefulness. "He may be _noble,_ but, to quote the Midgardians, he is an asshole"

A sudden movement of the door jerked against Sif's back before she could provide any retort. Her eyes widened in panic as she rushed forward and swivelled around on one leg to face Odin. From the corner of her eye she spotted Loki suppressing laughter.

This was going to be difficult to explain.

* * *

Odin entered, holding his sceptre in one hand and a few documents in the other. When he glanced up from them and saw Sif his expression turned hard.

"Lady Sif. How did you get in here?" He waved his sceptre and the door shut itself slowly.

Sif's entire focus was on Loki's suppressed giggles, so it took her a while to respond.

"Uh... All Father, I..." Her fists clenched and unclenched as she searched for the right words. Her gaze darted from Odin to Loki and back, causing Odin to turn to where Loki was standing. Sif knew that he could not see Loki's apparition, but nevertheless she stiffened.

"I'm standing here, Lady Sif" Odin raised an eyebrow and waited. "Well?"

"Uh... I am here to..." She glanced at Loki again, who was biting his thumb to stop the hysterics.

 _It can't be_ that _funny, can it?_ Sif groaned inwardly. Suddenly her mind snapped to attention. She had to come up with a good excuse, and fast.

"I am here to make a request of you, All Father" She knelt before him, placing her right fist over her heart.

"And what would that be?"

"I want to request a formal funeral for Loki. If not with the grandeur and formality of Queen Frigga's, then just his family and kinsmen" Sif enunciated.

Loki pushed off the wall and regarded Sif with a squint.

 _Is she serious?_

"And exactly why should I comply?" Odin swept across the floor and strode to his desk, his golden cape trailing behind him.

"Because he is your son!" Sif rose and face Odin, whose back was turned to her. Her voice had a confused and hard edge to it. "I do not understand why it was not the first thing you did when we discovered that he had passed!"

"Why do you care so much about Loki being laid to rest, Sif?" Odin half turned to face her. Sif noticed that he had not attached the title of 'Lady' in front of her name. "Did you love him? Is that where this passion rises from?"

Sif was put into shock for a few moments. She recovered with a breath and shook her head.

"That shouldn't matter at all. He was my friend, a prince of Asgard. If not your son, then Thor's brother" Sif supplicated with an even tone, trying hard to keep her temper in check.

"That makes no difference. He was a traitor, and I'll not have a traitor buried on my lands" Odin declared, deeming the discussion done. He turned back to his documents and began sorting them.

 _Loki was right. He_ is _an asshole._

What was at first an excuse, had unexpectedly turned into an actual issue. Sif was extremely dispassionate with most matters unrelated to war, but this seemed to have stuck a nerve. She wouldn't dare raise her voice at the All Father, but right now she was tempted to smack some sense into him.

She saw that Loki had moved from his position on the wall. He was coming towards her.

"May I be dismissed?" Sif addressed the All Father, or rather, the All Father's back, who waved a hand to open the doors. Sif bowed and turned to leave.

Just as she reached the doors, they slammed shut in her face. She swivelled around and saw Loki with his arms crossed, smirking. Her lifted a hand and snapped, and suddenly Odin disappeared from his place at his desk in a cloud of green smoke.

Sif's opened her mouth but no words came out. Loki tilted his head and glided to her. She stepped back until her back was pressed up against the door. She was somewhat afraid, but not enough that it would show on her face.

"Well Sif, sorry to muck up your funeral plans for me, but as you can see I won't be needing it"

Finally Sif found her voice. "What did you do to the All Father!?" Her fist lashed out against his chest, but it went straight through him.

"Ooo that tickles, Sif"

"You! Bas-! -Tard!" She yelled, each word a staccato synchronized with a throw of her fist.

"Well we can't be sure my real parents weren't married, now, can we?"

Green smoke wafted from every point where Sif's fist went through Loki's apparition.

"What did you do!?" She yelled again, this time getting right up in his face.

"Oh Valhalla, stop being so loud" Pushed Sif away from him, which gave her a surprise. She lost and regained her footing in a split second.

"I didn't _do_ anything. Odin isn't here"

"That's a lie. I saw him earlier today" Sif stated matter-of-factly, but Loki's amused expression didn't change at all.

"You mean you saw _me"_ Loki quipped.

Lines of green light sparked off Loki's clothes as his apparition morphed into a perfect image of Odin, voice and all. The body of Odin graced with the facial expressions of Loki was a nightmarish thing to see, as Sif would now know.

She covered her mouth in shock.

"Wha... what _have_ you done"

Loki, in Odin's guise, smirked.

Sif wished she could unsee it.

* * *

 **Late update, I know :(**

 **Idk the exact story line of this fic - I mean, I know the basic ideas and scenarios I want to write, but I just need a basic way for the story to run.**

 **As soon as these few chapters (maybe about 3-5 or so?) are finished we'll get into the real fun stuff.**

 **Review, Fav, Follow! Or just do whatever you like.**


	3. Prisoner

"I still do not believe that you are Loki" Sif was resolute.

Her stubbornness was something very characteristic about her, and Loki rarely failed to notice it.

He had just explained everything to her, and she'd listened rather patiently, but with her final statement being the same as her first, Loki felt like he hadn't really got his point across properly

"Believe what you want, Sif" Loki shrugged and disappeared through the door. Sif was speechless for a moment before she resorted to her classic tactic: Yelling and punching.

"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, YOU BASTARD!" Her voice boomed through the All Father's empty chambers.

Loki's voice emanated from all sides. "I'll let you out Sif, eventually"

"I swear upon Valhalla that when I escape from here every soul of this realm will know that you live" She hollered at the ceiling, which seemed to be the central point from where Loki's voice was coming from.

"I thought you didn't believe it was me? Sif, you're confusing me" Loki was patronizing her, and she didn't like it one bit.

"Whoever you are, they will know"

"Oh Sif, you'll tell them, of course. You'll tell them _all._ But my dearest, _dearest_ Sif" His voice implored, "They'll _never_ believe you"

The doors swung open and a gust of wind made Sif's hair fly. Loki's presence seemed to have disappeared. Sif was, apparently, free to go.

 _Oh what region of hell have I entered._

* * *

The palace was far more lively now than in the morning. Well, it was still less bustling than the norm, but Sif found comfort in the sounds of a busy house filled with familiar people.

However her current agenda was less than comforting. She had to tell someone, _anyone,_ of what was going on. She hadn't half a clue herself - maybe it really was Loki. Their Loki. Thor's Loki.

 _Her_ Loki.

And then again maybe it was just some cheap trick; a twisted charade to amuse the caster of the spell. Either way, someone had to know. And right now the only one's who would believe her were the Warriors Three, who had just returned from the city.

Sif knew this because she could heart Volstagg and Fandral bantering in the dining room - where she was headed. Hogun was probably with them as well. He had returned from Vanaheim as soon as he had heard about Malekith's invasion, much to the relief of the Asgardians.

When she stepped into the wide doorway, she was immediately greeted by a slightly tipsy Fandral. Normally, she condemned day-drinking, but in such circumstances, she let it slide.

Volstagg raised his glass in greeting while Hogun gave a silent nod.

"Lady Sif! What a pleasure seeing you to-day!" Fandral lilted, slightly slurring his last words.

Sif suppressed a smile. Her expression hardened in moments, returning to the original task at hand. "Listen, Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun"

Immediately the three were alert. Sif often spoke gravely, but they sensed that this was serious.

"I must tell you something important. I'm not sure if it's true myself, and you may think me a fool for saying this, but I implore you-"

"Get on with it Sif! You know we'd believe anything you deem true" Fandral waved his goblet about impatiently, curious to know what Sif was so agitated about.

Sif took a deep breath. "Loki is alive"

The Warriors Three exchanged glances, confirming that what they all heard was the same thing. They looked back at Sif with raised eyebrows, clearly apprehensive. Even Hogun seemed unsure and frankly surprised.

"Sif, that is simply not possible. He-"

"Volstagg please! Believe me! I saw him! It was Loki, or some apparition of him. And the All Father... something terrible has happened to him!"

"Hardly! I just saw him pass by" Fandral waved his goblet towards the entrance.

"It's Loki in disguise!"

"Sif I think you've had too much to drink, honestly" Volstagg ripped off a piece of meat with his teeth from the bone he held, chewing enthusiastically.

"Lady Sif, surely it is not Loki, but some figment of your imagination?" Hogun hazarded with a raised eyebrow.

Sif groaned, and just then, behind the Warriors Three, appeared none other than Loki.

The sounds in the room all died down to an inconsequential buzz, and Sif expected that that would continue to be the case every time he decided to appear.

"Now, what did I tell you?" He patronized her.

Sif inhaled sharply and glared daggers at him. "I will find a way. They will believe me, and you will face justice for what you've done to the All Father"

"I haven't done anything to him, really. I just put him in a bit of a warped space, you see"

Sif knitted her eyebrows, clearly puzzled.

"He's not here, but he isn't dead either. It's just for a while, till Thor comes back I expect"

"Why till then?" If she could not make everyone else believe that Loki was alive, then the least she could do was extract as much information from him as possible.

"Won't it be funny to see his reaction? 'Brother back from the dead twice over'; he'll probably get tired of it after the third time"

"What's the point then?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Have you forgotten already, Sif? It's in the name, you know"

Sif was blank, as Loki expected.

"God of Mischief? Heard the term? I expect I've got to live up to the name, don't you?" He quipped.

"You can't hide forever" She held his gaze evenly.

He smiled and brought his face close to hers. Sif saw his image beginning to fade from reality. The last of his apparition literally fell into Sif, sending a chill through her spine.

"I wasn't planning to" His voice was a mere haze, completely surreal. Sif shuddered at the lasting aura he left behind.

* * *

The rest of the day passed without incident, much to Sif's relief. However the nagging feeling of being watched never left. She had somehow convinced herself that Loki was always hiding in a dark corner waiting to pounce at her. Using a large force of her will she continued her daily routine without making a noticeable outburst. Some people, however, did notice that she was more edge than usual.

She retired to her chambers for the rest of the day, sitting immovably in deep contemplation. Dozens of scenarios played themselves over and over in her head - trying hard to deduce what Loki's possible motives for hiding could be. Surely, if he revealed himself, Thor would be delighted? Then again, knowing that something had happened to the All Father would probably reverse Thor's new found tolerance for his back-from-the-dead-for-the-second-time brother.

 _What is his goal, anyway?_

Sif ran a hand through her wet hair and looked up at her reflection in the mirror. She let out a sigh and propped her face up with her hands.

 _What a pain..._

Seeing how there was nothing to keep her from sleep, she decided she would do just that. Striding into her bedroom she mechanically opened her cupboard and pulled out a dress to wear for the night. Her armour was a menace to remove, and her chain mail would usually be grimy and rusty with sweat - but today she hadn't bothered putting on her usual battle attire. She hadn't even visited the training ground for a round of sparring with Hogun or Fandral. Volstagg preferred sparring with Thor, so she rarely faced him.

Unfortunately, the dress she was currently wearing was even harder to remove. All the ribbons of the corset were entangled with one another, and she was having a lot of trouble getting herself out of it.

Exasperated, she threw her hands up. "ARGH!"

She huffed and a stray lock of hair flew up from her face. She scowled at herself in the mirror and contemplated grabbing a knife and slicing the fabric off.

 _That won't do. The bloody maids will complain again... although I know not to whom..._

She pinched the bridge of her nose and raised her eyebrows in an effort to keep herself awake. Suddenly a chill passed over the room, sending shivers down Sif's spine. She looked over at the window, which was closed.

 _In the bath-room?_ She entered it and found the bathroom window to be closed as well. _Well. This can't be good._

She rushed back to her room to find the one and only Loki sitting on her stool in front of her mirror, inspecting her nightdress.

"Do all women sleep in things like these? How boring" He smirked and crossed one leg over the other.

"Must even my own chambers be disrupted by your presence, Loki!" Sif approached him with the intent of acquainting her fist with his face.

As she swung Loki disappeared and reappeared behind her. She lost balance and had to grab the stool for support. She glowered at him over her shoulder, and in response he held his hands up defensively - trying hard not to let a smile spread across his face.

"Are you always _this_ angry?" He stepped back as she took another step towards him. "It's probably just me... isn't it?"

"Probably" She deadpanned.

"Oh, that's cold, Sif. And this coming from a Frost Giant" He quipped.

Sif sat on the stool and rubbed her eyes. She rubbed her temples and sighed. "Can I not sleep in peace?"

"Well you certainly can't sleep in a corset. You'd probably asphyxiate or whatever it is that women in corsets do. I wouldn't know" Loki leaned against the wall and half smiled.

Sif loured at him with tired eyes before getting back to her desperate attempt at getting undressed.

"Would you like some help with that? I imagine that your ladies in waiting wouldn't like you ripping up another dress of yours" Loki quipped. He seemed to be doing an awful lot of quipping since Sif had encountered him post-fake-mortem. She didn't like it much.

"I don't have 'ladies in waiting', Loki"

"Ah, how could I forget! Sif the Ever Independent"

Sif's fingers were now fumbling hopelessly at the tangled mess of ribbons at her back. She dropped her arms to her sides and looked up at the ceiling for a long while, earning a questioning look from Loki - which she didn't see. Without meeting his gaze she turned her back to him and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Well..." She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Get on with it then" Loki noticed that she was trying particularly hard to stomach her pride for the sake of getting rid of him sooner.

"And she breaks!"

Loki gathered Sif's hair and pulled it out of the way, over her shoulder. With all the dexterity of a seamstress he undid the knots without applying even the slightest pressure against Sif's back, for which she was grateful. As soon as Loki's fingers pulled apart the bottommost ribbons, Sif immediately stepped forward and away from him.

She promptly faced him, arms still firmly crossed over her bosom.

"Now, can you please leave" She pointed at the doorway with her chin, which earned no reaction from Loki other than a raised eyebrow.

"Not even a word of thanks! Frankly, Sif, I am _appalled"_ His mordant tone aggravated Sif to no end.

"At least do me the courtesy of turning your back" She grumbled half-heartedly, picking up her nightdress from the stool where Loki had left it earlier.

"What prompts this sudden coyness, Sif?" Loki cooed.

"You can look if you want, but..." Sif said, with a sinister and sultry tone of voice - catching Loki slightly off guard. "... I can't promise you'll like what you see"

Now Loki was caught _completely_ off guard. He'd never expect Sif to so easily change her entire air. Naturally, she was bluffing - her figure was incomparable. This new 'devilish' version of Sif intrigued Loki to no end.

"There's room to debate that" He mumbled incoherently, giving Sif the stark impression that she'd won - and technically, she had.

"Are you going to leave soon? Or even in sleep will I not be able to escape?" Sif turned her back to him to put away her corset and dress back into the cupboard.

"Mmm" He shrugged, clearly bored once again. It was quite a task to keep him entertained more than a few hours at most - even coming to Sif's room at this particular point in time was something he did on a whim, with nothing much better to do.

"Well decide soon, else I'll have little time to steel my..." She turned back around, and saw that Loki had vanished. "...self..."

She sighed heavily as she closed the cupboard. Barely able to keep her eyes open, she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

 **Please don't hate me for the late update! Just remember that even if my updates are late, they're still very much THERE. I'm not giving up on this story any time soon!**


	4. The Dawn

Sif had an east-facing window, which to most was a blessing as they could watch the magical sunrise over the horizon of the sea, with the Bifrost glittering with ethereal light - but for Sif it was simply a burden. In the mornings whenever she would unconsciously turn over in bed, her eyes would be blinded by the powerful rays which penetrated through the glass like a knife through paper.

As a result, she often awoke in a foul mood. However in the winter time when the nights were long and the sun rose later than usual; when the air was chilly and the sky was pale, Sif could pleasantly rise.

However, today it was neither the sharp rays that stung her eyes nor the cool mild light that caressed her. In fact, she could feel no warmth on her face at all.

 _Is it not morning yet?_

She knitted her eyebrows while her eyes were still closed. It was possible that her sleep schedule was off by an hour or two, but this was extremely rare for someone as precise and particular as her. Or the wind had blown the curtain over the window? Not likely. She could feel a draft against her face.

Her eyes struggled against sleep to even remain open half lidded. She made out a blurry silhouette against her window, and almost instantly she was fully awake.

"You!" Her morning voice cracked.

She twisted herself away from the direction of the window to reach her knife on the bedside table. As soon as she turned her head back to the window, he was gone. And she was absolutely sure whom that 'he' was. She turned back to replace the knife, and naturally to her surprise there he was laying beside her with curious cat eyes.

"Do you always yell in the morning?"

By way of automatic reflex, she lashed out at him with a grunt. Of course, the knife went straight through him.

"Mmm that tingles" He purred.

Suddenly he disappeared in a whiff of green smoke and Sif found that her knife had embedded itself in her mattress. She made a sound of annoyance and bolted upright, causing her head to momentarily spin. Pressing the cool edge of the blade to her forehead she collected her wits.

"Careful now; you're risking a scratch" A voice whispered from behind her.

She jerked her head back, but instead of making contact with a person, her head hit hard against the headboard.

 _Two things to explain now... Torn sheets and a damaged headboard. Lovely._

"You know, if you used words instead of violence, maybe you'd be less responsible for damage to property" Now his voice was coming from the window, where he was standing earlier.

 _Did he read my mind? No... He's just witty..._

Sif threw the covers off and swung her legs over the side of the bed, scowling at the window. She pushed herself off the bed with effort - as if were a tedious task that she'd rather refrain from doing, and technically, it was. She slammed the casements shut with a thud, but before she could lock the bolts, she heard her cupboard being unlocked on the far wall behind her.

She turned on her heel and saw Loki standing over a pile of straps, greaves, pauldrons, spaulders, vambraces, and an infinite variety of mail that he'd pulled out from her closet.

"Do you really wear _all_ of this _every single day?"_ He knitted his eyebrows, lifting a steel vambrace and weighing it experimentally in his hand.

"Put them back, Loki"

Sif groaned and turned back to the window to bolt it, only to find that Loki had apparated in front of her, on the other side of the glass. He was still holding the vambrace, completely disinterested in the fact that he was standing on a ledge barely wider than his forearm, around twenty stories above the ground. He eyed the vambrace with interest.

"Gods, Loki!" Sif sprung into action and jerked the windows open.

Her hand shot out with the goal of grabbing Loki and pulling him inside, but instead Loki grabbed _her_ hand and twisted it so she was deadlocked. Their current position was a dangerous one. One misstep on Loki's part and they would both tumble to the ground.

"How does you arm even fit in this!? It barely fits _me!"_ Loki measured the steel armour plate against Sif's arm, which tensed, revealing her tight muscles.

He leaned nonchalantly against the closed portion of the window, busy strapping the vambrace onto Sif's forearm as she struggled against him.

 _What in the world is he doing?!_

"So it _does_ fit! How strangely your arm is built, Sif" She felt him twist her arm around, making her flinch in pain.

"What is wrong with you! Let go or we'll both fall!"

"Fall? No!" He scoffed. Suddenly a grin stretched across his face - and not the pleasant looking kind. "...We'll only fall if I do _this"_

Loki lifted his leg very deliberately... and stepped onto nothing.

##

Sif's screech of terror was muted by the sheer upward force of the air. For a second she flailed uncontrollably, unable to tell up from down and left from right. She caught her bearings when Loki tugged on her wrist. His back faced the ground - which was growing bigger and more terrifying ever second - and he laughed back up at her. The wing was ringing in her ears and her eyes burned, so she could discern none of his speech.

Her free arm felt like it was moving through a treacle when she reached out for Loki. He in turn reached out his arm, much to Sif's relief. Just before their fingers interlocked, Sif noticed a strange apparition behind him.

"LOKI!-"

And they fell through a hole in space.

* * *

Loki landed with a painful groan, squirming against the pile of armour that was currently digging its sharp metal points into his back. Sif had naturally landed on top of him, and was still in her brace position - that being: curled up into a ball against Loki's chest.

They were back in Sif's familiar bed-chambers, although not exactly where Loki intended for them to land up.

"Ah, I may have miscalculated... slightly" He pushed Sif slightly and they both rolled off the pile of armour in a most ungraceful manner.

They landed in a heap, with a loud _thud_. Sif pushed Loki off her almost as soon as her butt hit the floor and aimed a punch at his face. He dodged, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her towards him. She wrenched her arm to the side, thwacking the side of Loki's face.

He let go of her wrist and rubbed his temple, looking extremely hurt.

"That was harsh. You know, we were meant to land on the bed" He indicated with a thumb.

Sif shook her head in annoyance and pushed herself off the ground. Her nightdress was in a bedraggled mess from the wind, and her hair equally dishevelled.

"I'm not here to play kinky games with you, Loki"

He sat up against the wall and ran a hand through his hair, which had now lengthened beyond his shoulders.

"What a dirty mind you have, Sif" He chuckled and smiled wryly.

Meanwhile, Sif was busy removing the vambrace, which had caught in the long sleeve of her night dress.

 _What a pain. Yet another thing for the maids to complain about._

Finally, the leather straps undid themselves and Sif slid the vambrace off her arm. Her sleeve did not escape without a ear or two from the sharp metal ends.

"Pity. Such a lovely dress too"

Loki tiled his head to get a better view of the damage. Sif glowered at him. It seemed to be the base of all her expressions pointed at Loki these past days.

"Oh come _on_ Sif! You have to admit the falling was pretty fun" Loki seamlessly lifted himself off the ground without using his hands. The motion made Sif slightly dizzy.

"What do you want from me anyway. It's not like I have some key that will unlock the room in which the Tesseract is kept" Sif said.

She didn't bother to use subtle inquisitiveness to extract information from him. It was a long shot since Loki was masterful in the art of deception, and Sif knew well enough - despite her earlier resoluteness - that this was the _real_ Loki, and he would see right through her.

"Not even a bit curious, Sif? How out of character for you" His condescending tone made Sif bite her lip in annoyance.

"As if you know me so well" She muttered under her breath.

"You're right. I don't know you well enough" He stated, taking Sif by surprise.

First of all, she thought he hadn't heard her; and second of all, he was rarely one to be so outright. He strode up to her, and Sif had to look up through her lashes meet his eyes. He bent his head low and pulled her chin up so that gazes were level.

"So tell me... What makes _Sif_ Sif?"

His voice was dangerously low, or maybe it was just their close proximity that made it seem that way. Sif felt intimidated, and vexed with herself for feeling so. For a moment she softened her expression, not knowing exactly why she did it.

"Tell me, seriously, Loki. What do you want?" She sounded exhausted, meek, and extremely subdued - catching Loki off guard once again.

It was ironic how that the last time he was caught off guard was when Sif had a sultry and conniving air about her. Now it was the complete opposite.

He smiled to mask the twinge of uncertainty that had snaked its way into his usually calm and collected mind.

"Must there always be a method to my madness" Loki mused.

He let go of Sif's chin and stood up straight.

"I expect I won't have a moment alone today" Sif sighed, stretching her arms and neck. Her fingers flexed with an audible crack.

"Probably"

His vague acknowledgement made Sif slightly up her guard. It would have to remain that way for the rest of the day, most likely.

"Well at least make yourself useful and put away my armour" She nodded to the heap of steel that they'd landed on.

"Making me do servant's work! How cruel" His voice dripped with sarcasm, making the corners of Sif's mouth turn up slightly. At least when bantering he kept that familiar demeanour that she was so used to.

Sif's hair was in a mess from the wind, and when she sat at her dressing table her hairbrush was nowhere to be found. She clicked her tongue and decided to tie her hair up in a knot rather than give Loki the satisfaction of knowing that he had found _yet_ another way to get on her nerves.

 _Well, maybe it is genuinely lost..._

She heard the clinking and clanking of armour and mail and saw it as a decent time to strip off her nightdress - which was essentially just a shift which reached the floor rather than thigh level. She found those extremely flimsy and easily torn - which was just a menace.

All of the undergarments she wore under her armour were stored safely inside her bathroom, which was quite convenient especially at this particular time. She pulled on her tight suede pants, leather skirt, and sleeveless doublet, over which she wore a leather combat garment cut especially for her. On her upper arms she secured leather pads.

When she re-entered her bedroom, the armour had been replaced in it's designated drawers and Loki was spinning around on her dressing stool like a fidgety child - which at this point was all he really was.

"What _are_ you doing?" Sif sighed.

"Spinning, I imagine" He said simply.

Sif opened the drawers where her armour was kept and pulled out leather harnesses, leather vambraces, and a pair of metal spaulders. After strapping everything into place she moved to the other end of the room where an ornate cupboard stood alone. It was delicately carved and polished to perfection. Sif opened it to reveal a large metal frame in the shape of a woman's torso, hand-crafted by Asgard's finest smiths. It was a type of display frame for both clothing as well as armour. Unfortunately, what Sif had originally kept there was no longer in its place.

Sif knew exactly who to blame.

* * *

Sif turned on her heel and saw Loki sitting smugly on the stool, brushing his hair with _her hairbrush._

Well, at least one problem was solved. She exhaled loudly and snatched the brush away from his fingers.

"Hey!" Loki's face looked liked he'd been slapped across the face unexpectedly. Sif liked it.

"Where is my breastplate?" Her tone was accusing in all ways.

"Why would I have it?" He propped up one leg on the stool and in turn propped up his elbow on his bent knee.

He looked bored, which he often was these days - save the bouts of entertainment he plucked from Sif's constant vexation. In fact, almost every look she gave him was either a scowl or a glare.

Sif cocked an eyebrow, as if saying, _Really? Why wouldn't you?,_ and Loki laughed.

"Oh, Sif, you think so poorly of me!" He said, as if he had been greatly offended. "Unfortunately, I do not have it"

"Fine, then" Sif slammed the cupboard shut and undid her hair, running the brush roughly through it.

When she was satisfied she threw the brush on her unmade bed, drew the curtains, finally strode past Loki, and headed out the door.

* * *

"And where are you of to on such a _fine_ morning?" Sif heard the echo of Loki's disembodied voice boom in her ear.

She scrunched her eyes closed and covered her ear. "Training" She offered no more than that.

"Hmm that seems like fun... Hope you don't mind if I tag along" Loki suddenly apparated right next to her, making her jump slightly.

She turned her head to look at him - surprised when she saw he was dressed in a completely different outfit than before. Now, instead of his regular green doublet he wore his gold and green armour along with his classic green cape. He looked no different than the days before he had betrayed Asgard, aside from his now shoulder length hair.

"You shouldn't walk around like that. Someone will notice you" Sif looked away from him and straight ahead, putting more decision and purpose into her strides.

"Oh? Would you prefer _this?"_ And when Sif looked back at him, he was no longer Loki, but Thor.

Sif nearly stumbled in surprise. "That's even worse!"

"Hmm, you're right. How about _this_ then?" In a flash of green light he transformed into Jane, Thor's beloved Midgard girl.

Sif gave covered her mouth to muffle a guffaw. "No!"

Loki, as Jane, smiled broadly and raised his eyebrows sarcastically. "My, my, Sif. So hard to please!"

"I'm not hard to please, Loki," She skipped a few steps ahead of him. "You're just displeasing to look at"

Loki laughed, this time as himself. "Well, hopefully that will change at some point"

"You sound desperate to win my approval"

"Or I'm just incredibly vain"

"More likely. By the way, can anyone see you?" Sif was now back in step with Loki.

"Yes. But I'm in disguise to all other eyes"

"All but mine" Sif grumbled.

It was still quite difficult to register that this was the same Loki who had died _twice_. She'd mourned him _twice_ and here he was again. But with Loki's constant sass and generally carefree attitude, it seemed more real.

"Oh don't worry, Sif. I'll make you pleased to look at me in time"

The hint of suggestiveness made Sif bite her lip. She was unsure if he meant it some strange, kinky, _Loki_ kind of way, but she wasn't going to let him know that he had caught her off guard.

They walked in silence until they reached an empty courtyard designated for hand-to-hand combat training. Originally, Sif had planned on learning a new weapon - the bow and arrow - for which she did not need a partner. However now that Loki was here with her, she could do her regular hand-to-hand training, as well as practice the bow later on.

"Well, shall we begin?" Loki said.

* * *

 **FINA-FREAKING-LLY I FINISHED THIS! YES - the beginning is a bit random, but it was just CRAZY Loki being himself.**

 **The next chapter is going to have so much sexual tension oh my god how will I write it with a straight face. The answer is: I WON'T.**


	5. Touch

**I was SUPPOSED to fill this chapter with sexy things, but I'm a bad writer so it just became a big jumble of crap.**

 **PS - The long update is... unforgivable.**

* * *

Sif stood opposite Loki on a leather mat rolled out on the cool granite floor. She tied her hair up in a knot to keep it well out of her face. Her arms stretched out, making her metal spaulders clank against one another. Loki, on the other hand was nonchalantly twirling a lock of hair around his finger.

"Suddenly vain?" She quipped at him. Loki half smiled.

"Impatient..."

"Then let's start"

Sif cracked her knuckles and neck, bringing her arms in front of her as she took her stance. Her leather vambraces wouldn't provide as much protection as metal ones, but since they weren't using swords, it wasn't going to be much of a problem.

Loki stepped forward but took no stance. He swayed and smiled that broad, closed mouth smile that made him look like he was biting back an insult - at least Sif thought that's what he looked like.

They circled twice, and got closer with each step. As soon as Sif completed their second circle she lashed out with her inside arm and without waiting for Loki's response, swung with her outside arm in an arc.

Loki twisted his head beneath both punches and grabbed Sif's outside arm as it completed it's arc, pushing it backwards so that she stumbled.

"Too slow. Sloppy form" He grabbed another punch in his fist and tapped her knuckles with his forefinger.

"I don't need lessons" She grunted as her vambrace met with Loki's forearm.

Loki ducked beneath another attack while his hand slid and grabbed her wrist. He wrenched her weight and threw her over his shoulder in one swift, fluid motion. She landed with a painful thud, but it failed to deter her. She kicked up and was back on her feet in seconds. Now her stance switched to a more open and less guarded one. It would make it easier to attack with the sacrifice of her defence. Loki probably noticed, but chose not to comment.

Another set of punches and dodges and grunts. She wondered for a moment what they would look like to a passer by.

 _Who would I be fighting?_

Loki managed to get in close and jab her in the stomach with his elbow, all but knocking the thought out of her mind. She staggered and clutched her abdomen, but none of the pain showed on her face.

"Getting sloppier, Sif!" Loki chuckled and bounced on the balls of his feet like a prancing child. Sif shook her head and retook her stance.

"No" She breathed, and lunged.

She swung her leg in a roundhouse, which Loki just barely dodged. He caught her leg but before he could do anything she smashed her heel against his face. His eyes widened and he stepped back, dazed. Sif grabbed his hair roughly and brought his face down on her knee, avoiding his temple - although she wasn't sure why she was being so careful.

Once. Twice. Thrice, and Loki grabbed her hand and crushed it in his own.

Sif felt like her bones had broken, but when Loki released her hand, it was fine. Not even a red mark. She waited for the scream to come, but the pain subsided as soon as she pulled away from him. Her hand was trembling. Numb.

"Strange, isn't it? What real pain is like..." Loki pushed himself off the ground and blew a lock of hair out of his face.

Sif's face hardened, not for the last time.

"Dirty tricks aren't enough to defeat me" She huffed and went in for another offensive move.

"I don't deny it" He laughed while dodging; seamlessly, effortlessly.

* * *

After sometime, Loki decided it was time for a change of scenery. Of course, he decided this without Sif's input or opinion on the matter. His hand glowed green with magic as he prepared the spell.

With a wave he brought them both into a world that was in all likeliness to a barren desert.

"What is this place?" Sif asked distractedly as she scanned their new surroundings.

"It's an old Midgardian battleground"

"What battle was fought here?" She asked, and Loki was unsure whether she was curious or simply small-talking.

"Probably a useless one" Loki quipped in reply.

"At least take us to a place which has _some_ significance" She let out an exasperated breath.

 _He doesn't even know how to use his powers right!_

Loki took a moment to come up with a clever and well-thought-out reply, but he didn't voice it. He simply waved his hand, and the green glow filled Sif's vision until it didn't any more.

"Well, I do sincerely hope that this is significant enough for you..."

Suddenly a gust of frigid wind enveloped Sif's entire being.

They were on Jotunheim.

* * *

"You're mad!" Sif yelled through the violent wind.

"I know!" Loki's eyes widened and a manic smile crossed his face as he stepped carefully on the frozen ground.

One step, another, another, and he lunged. Sif had barely a moment to react. She let the ice do the work for her as she slid underneath Loki's attacking arm. As she slid, she grabbed his arm and attempted to wrench it backwards so that he'd fall over. Suddenly Loki's wrist turned ice cold, and Sif's grip reflexively slackened.

 _Why is it so cold!?_

She pulled away and skidded to a stop, awkwardly lifting herself off the icy ground.

"How could you forget so easily, Sif?"

And then, what Sif saw was Loki, but not the same Loki. Not the _familiar_ Loki. Not _her_ Loki.

It was Loki. In his Frost Giant form.

Sif's jaw nearly fell open. She knew, of course that Loki was a Jotun. But never before, with her own eyes, had she seen his true body. It was blue, obviously, but from the distance between them and the frost in the air, it was difficult to make out what kind of blue. His eyes glowed red, visible through the hazy air, and Sif could feel the temperature reducing marginally with every step he took towards her.

"Oh Sif. You know it's rude to stare so blatantly" That same sinister smile spread across his face.

For every step he took towards her, she took a step back.

"What? Are you _afraid_?" He said the word like it produced a bad taste in his mouth.

 _No._ And she wasn't. Not _afraid._ More like... unsure.

He was an arms distance from her now. She'd stopped taking steps backwards when she realized there was a steep cliff looming behind her. With almost lightning speed he grabbed her wrists, spun her around and pinned her back against his freezing body. Sif nearly screamed as the cold wrapped around her spine and knocked the breath out of her. Loki bent his head to her ear, and she could feel a chill radiating from him.

"Not fun, is it?" He whispered, his frosty breath grazing her ear.

His grip on her wrists tightened, sending another shock through her body. Her legs began to give way under her. Loki relented and let her fall. She gasped for air and warmth, but the frigid air of Jotunheim crushed her effort.

Her hands gripped the jagged, icy ground with such ferocity that her knuckles turned white. The cliff edge was a step away.

 _We aren't really here..._

She looked over her shoulder at Loki, who was now a good distance away from her.

 _He can't reach me from there, can he?_

She closed her eyes, and strengthened her resolve.

"Enough with your games, Loki" Sif stood up slowly, deliberately, fiercely. "Let's finish this"

She took one small step backwards. Another small step. Loki's eyebrows knitted in confusion.

 _What does she think she is doing?_

She smiled and eyed him squarely. Loki suddenly realized what she meant to do. His eyes widened and his arm reflexively reached out, even though he was at least ten feet away from her.

"NO!" But it was too late.

Holding her arms out and tilting her head back, she fell.

* * *

Within a second, Loki was at the cliff edge. Without giving it a moments thought he leapt off into the abyss. He didn't need to think, because Sif was going to die if she hit the bottom.

He didn't need to think.

* * *

Sif's muscles were aching as she fell. The force of the wind bombarded her, and the cold intensified as it passed through her armour and seeped into her skin.

 _I'm not really here. It's just Loki's illusion._

She opened her teary eyes against the gale, and above she saw Loki plunging head-first towards her.

 _Is he still trying to attack me?! Won't his magic relent?!_

Her whole body was being buoyed by the powerful air current. She couldn't move against it even if she tried. Meanwhile Loki was getting closer and closer.

He reached out his arms towards her, and she tried to twist away, but in vain.

She let out a violent gasp as the entire force of his weight and gravity slammed into her at once. His arms encircled her waist and he gripped her form to his. Her eyes squeezed shut as she was pulled even faster through the air.

 _What is he doing?_ Her thoughts were incoherent and completely muddled up at the moment.

Suddenly she felt the space around her move. The wind relented and she felt a warm and humid breeze.

 _Where have we reached now?_ She tried concentrating, afraid to open her eyes just yet.

And then, a massive pressure jerked against her already battered body.

* * *

And then, there was water. The fierce current flooded her senses. Sif's eyes burned from the salt. Her limbs ached, and without Loki's support she would have had a real chance of drowning.

 _What... Where... ?_ She couldn't concentrate. The fatigue weighed heavily on her eyes and limbs. She could feel herself drifting to unconsciousness.

"Sif!" Loki jerked her awake.

"Mmm" She murmured incoherently, barely aware of her surroundings.

"Sif! You idiot! Why would you jump off a cliff!?"

"We... weren't there..." She emitted, resting her head against his soaked shoulder.

Loki sighed are cast his magic around them once more.

Once more, the space around them changed, and they were back on Asgard. Back on the leather mat, the marble floor, the familiar scent of home. Sif collapsed into Loki's arms, pushing him onto the ground. She tapped her loosely closed fist against his chest and groaned, trying to wretch away from him. Loki's lips quirked up, amused at her persistence - despite her condition.

"You're all right, Sif. You're all right" He patted her damp hair playfully. She groaned again.

"No... No... Ugh, get me off you" She managed to mumble. "Go away" She sounded like a petulant child to Loki's ears, making him all the more amused.

He sat up slowly, holding her firmly against him. Her arms still pressed against him lightly to show her utter anathema of the situation. They were a heap of salt and dampness and sweat and fatigue and pure exertion.

"I don't need your help!" She groaned against him, half-heartedly trying to twist out of his grip.

After she became still and silent - perhaps resigned to her fate - Loki took the liberty of smiling.

"No you don't. But you're still getting it" He murmured softly, mostly to himself.

 _Why did she jump? She thought it was an illusion?..._

Loki looked down at her with a keen eye. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head and smiled. He expected her to make some sound of resistance, but she remained silent. After a while Loki scrunched his nose at the smell they were beginning to emit. The air reeked of sweat and dampness.

"Ah. Time for a bath, don't you think, Sif?" He lifted his chin from her head and looked down at her again, not expecting an answer.

Surprisingly, he got one.

"Wouldn't you just _love_ that"

* * *

 **This is the SHORTEST chapter so far, but idk why. Lmao this chapter was meant to have some fluff, but idk if I did a good enough job. I wrote like 800+ words but then decided that it was crap and ended up redoing at least 3/4ths of the chapter. I like the final result, more or less. What do you guys think?**

 **PS - I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I WAS TRAVELLING, AND I KNOW THAT'S A TERRIBLE EXCUSE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**


	6. Velveteen

**I am literally killing myself for the lateness of this update. I had some idea where this chapter was going but then sorta lost it in the middle lol. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**

* * *

Loki's arms swayed slightly as he carried Sif bridal style through the palace halls. It was doubtlessly effortless, but he enjoyed the motion. It gave him momentum. For what, he was not entirely sure of yet. Although if one knew Loki, they would also know that he had the tendency to make mischief out of every possible thing.

Of course, Sif paid no attention. In fact, she felt lulled by the back and forth motion. If it wasn't for her conscious effort not to be caught unguarded against Loki, she'd have fallen asleep ages ago. Her head rested against his chest, and she could faintly hear the rapid beat of his exhausted heart.

She was slightly glad that his strength had been sapped. It made it easier to relax in case he tried anything. Although at this point, Sif was quite sure that he was simply using her as a toy rather than a strategic instrument in whatever he may have been planning.

Sif lost track of time. It may have been minutes or seconds, she didn't know. The scent of rosewater tickled her nostrils and a gentle breeze sent relief through her sweat-dripping body.

They had reached the baths.

* * *

More specifically, the Royal Baths.

Since there was a strict class division in Asgard, and most of the nine realms, the royal family and it's associative branches enjoyed certain luxuries that others did not. This was one of the notable ones.

The Royal Baths were an opulent network of springs which received their heat from an ancient volcanic mountain that had since turned dormant.

Sif rarely came here. The only significant time she'd come was before Thor's coronation. Well, the day that was meant to be Thor's coronation. All the ladies, including the Queen, insisted that she go through the whole baroque ritual of preparing for the oncoming festivities. After all, a king of Asgard is crowned perhaps once in a few thousand years...

Now, it seemed larger than before - perhaps because Sif felt so small pressed against Loki. She didn't even have the strength to scowl at her thoughts.

"Am I going to be left alone to bathe, or must I endure your presence still?" She groaned.

Loki raised an eyebrow and one corner of his mouth quirked up. "How presumptuous of you to think that I am not in need of one myself" He murmured, concentrating on relenting his magic.

A green light glowed, and Loki was visible to all. Of course - there was no one there to see him, as planned.

Sif squinted at him and inhaled deeply. She had to stop herself from coughing at the stench they were both emitting. Not only was it sweat, but dripping blood - along Sif's arm and across Loki's collar bones. None of the cuts were deep, nor all that painful, which is why both of them were generally unconcerned.

Loki sighed and inhaled the pleasant scent of the sizzling water. Little wisps of blue-ish smoke rose from the water's surface, creating an eerie glow in the chamber. The air was cool but the water was blazing hot when Loki dipped his toe in. He glanced at Sif from the corner of his eye and smiled.

"Time to get in, I think?"

Sif wordlessly shifted in his arms, making to jump to the ground, but was forced back by the momentum of Loki's swinging arms.

"WHAT! LOKI NO-" But Sif's words were cut off by the force of Loki's throw.

With a few mutterings and a bit of Loki's magic Sif's armour phased right through her, as she fell, entering the water naked and flailing. Loki let the armour drop to the ground and began laughing violently, so much so that his wounds started to bleed again.

"Was that _really_ necessary!?" Sif grumbled, being careful to keep her chin in the water. Her hair had undone itself and was now spiralling through the water in oily black waves.

Loki watched her, still smiling, with one hand pressed against his collar bone to stop his bleeding. Sif rolled her eyes and dunked her head under the water. It felt cool and smelled sweet and was crystal clear, although the surface was clouded with smoke, much to Sif's relief. The healing properties in the water started working their magic, and Sif felt her body slowly absorbing energy from it. The water weaved through her hair and she felt it untangling itself seamlessly.

 _I should come here more often..._ She smiled to herself as her head broke the surface and she gulped in a lungful of cold air.

She was almost going to stand up straight until she remembered who was going to be waiting for her to do exactly that. She groaned inwardly as the amount of fog in the room increased and the water temperature began to rise. She saw a glow of green light through the misty air and a clink of armour. The water rippled and splashed slightly.

Sif combed her fingers through her hair and pretended to be disinterested in the whole spectacle that Loki was trying to create.

She succeeded.

Loki let the steam rise around him and seep into his wound, feeling the effects of the water almost immediately. He bent his legs and sank into the water, breathing the deep invigorating scents of the water.

 _How long has it been..._

He opened his eyes under the water, and surprisingly they didn't burn or sting. He saw a blurry image of the depths of the water, and saw a faint outline of flesh ahead of him. It was Sif, of course, and Loki spent only one extra lingering moment under the water, trying to discern her outline in that distorted image.

With a bit of dramatic flair he broke the water's surface, throwing his hair up in an arc. His dripping blood turned the water red around him, but it diffused in seconds by the magic in the water. Sif was semi-floating, with her legs slightly bent so that the water line reached her shoulders. Her hair flowed around her like sea-snakes. The green in her eyes seemed brighter.

"Why are you squatting like an infant, Sif?" Loki asked, running a hand through his wet hair and standing up straight. The waterline came up to around his navel when he did so. Sif's eyes didn't leave his. "You look so tiny and afraid" He smirked and ran a finger across his collar bone where her blade and sliced him. The wound was healing nicely.

"I need to soak my arms" She shrugged her shoulder up to reveal the start of where Loki's knife had cut her open. It reached her elbow, and then another, much smaller wound cut across her back. Loki's twin blades were quite a menace at times.

"Of course" Loki smiled knowingly and deliberately lowered himself to her eye level. He went even lower so only his face was above the water.

"How often do you come here?"

"Are you looking to follow me?" Sif raised an eyebrow and unconsciously crossed one arm over her chest, though it was well hidden below the water.

"No. It's just that I haven't been here is _ages"_ He sighed and dunked his head under the water, letting it run through his hair and down his face. Sif noticed when he closed his eyes little water droplets would run down his cheeks, like tears.

"I never come here. I think this is my third time" Sif avoided his eyes when she replied, disinterested.

"When were the first two?"

"When I received my armour, and Thor's coronation"

Loki considered for a moment. "Hm. You looked quite normal at Thor's coronation. I wouldn't have guessed"

Sif's eyebrows knitted. This was of least significance to her, so she couldn't figure out why Loki had any interest in it.

"Well" She said after a pause, "I wouldn't have guessed my friend was a Jotun traitor. So we are both quite unobservant really" She quipped, silently gauging his reaction.

"Now now, Sif. Let bygones be bygones, why don't you?" Loki chuckled.

Sif scowled, turning her head away from him. She prodded the side of her arm where she'd been cut, and found that her wounds were closing up nicely.

"I'm done" Sif announced, parting her hair over her shoulders so her back was exposed. She planted her feet on the floor of the bath and rose with an elven grace that even Loki was stunned by.

Sif walked forward without looking back, and smiled a sly smile to herself - not knowing why exactly, she felt like she'd outdone him. Loki of course, always had a way to one up. He shook himself out of his daze and used warp magic to apparate directly in front of Sif, effectively startling her.

"Nice try, Sif" He smiled and shook his head. Sif's arms reflexively crossed over her chest, though her hair was long and thick enough to act as an entire garment by itself.

"Get out of the way Loki. I'm in no mood to reopen my wounds" She nodded to her arm, which was still delicate and bloody. Loki watched her intently, focus moving from her bruised arm to her bright eyes to her scowling mouth, then down to her long throat and sharp collar bones. He wouldn't have been ashamed to say his eyes roamed further down than that, but Sif's gaze was unmoving, and though she was undoubtedly the least bashful about such things, it seemed wrong to strip her to such a base piece of flesh for nothing better than looking.

Slowly, deliberately, Sif uncrossed her arms and raised a challenging eyebrow at him. Her hair still covered her completely, but Loki was almost scandalized to the point of looking away. But he didn't have the mind to let her win this little stare-down, so he kept his eyes locked on to hers for what seemed the longest time. Finally, he let up.

The steam rose around them and Loki gave Sif one last smirk before turning and disappearing into the haze.

Sif's straight and stuff posture immediately relaxed. She saw a glow of green through the steam and a clink of metal, indicating that Loki was probably back in his armour already. Meanwhile Sif's predicament was finding clothes in this place, since Loki had chosen to undress her in a less than convenient manner. Sif climbed out of the bath, watching her step so as not to slip. She found a long grey towel hanging on the wall and wrapped herself up. When she reached the dressing rooms at the far end of the massive chamber she spotted a clean, simple, black dress and petticoat hanging on one of the doors.

 _My lucky day..._

When Sif was upon the dress she noticed that upon closer observation it was not black, but a profound shade of dark green. The collar and sleeves were lined with gold lace. It was beautiful.

And Sif knew exactly who had left it there.

* * *

 **Sorry for making this a bit too short :(**

 **I was in a rush.**

 **And the update is so late ayyyyyy. Sorry! I love you all :')**


	7. Evasion

**End of the year gift :)**

* * *

Sif entered the banquet hall just in time for the party to start. Asgard somehow always had cause to celebrate something or the other - whether it was a marriage, a naming, or even just for the amusement of the nobles (which, more often than not, it was). She didn't look half as stunning as most of the other noble women present, but she didn't care either. She wasn't, after all, a noble at all. She had no image or mask she had to maintain in order to be accepted within these walls. All she needed was her sword and armour.

But at the moment she wasn't preoccupied with such thoughts. She was paranoid about Loki showing up unexpectedly. Of course when the unexpected becomes the expected... something else just comes along. As a result her evening began on a tense note, wherein upon even a slight disturbance of her person she would turn around suddenly and eye with a sharp look. This may have offended others, if they were not too drunk or possessed by the party's spirit already. Much too soon musicians began to play familiar folk songs, to which even the least party-like individuals felt the compulsion to at least hum or tap their foot to. Sif was slightly more at ease, and began to less-overtly isolate herself from the people surrounding her. Her little bubble of apprehension remained, if simply at the back of her mind.

Of course, as is proven time and again the primary law governing the universe, things go wrong just when we expect them to go right.

Loki appeared in a somewhat ordinary form, with the face of a handsome, unassuming, and well-groomed noble, who didn't appear too garish in his indigo-silver attire, nor too simple. A masterful disguise. Sif noticed only when he turned and she saw a faint green glimmer. Loki seemed to be becoming careless with his magic, but he had done it on purpose, knowing that she was inadvertently watching for signs, even if it was just out of the corner of her eye. It was a predictable thing about her. The warrior within never rests. She pretended not to notice, of course, but Loki caught her glancing now and then, but kept his face unassuming as ever. Once or twice he let the green ring of his irises show through the illusion to gauge her reaction. There was none.

Presumably from boredom Loki melded with the crowd, disappeared, and reappeared by her side. He reached his hand out and bowed his head slightly.

"Would the fair maiden join me for a dance?"

"I am neither fair nor a maiden and you know it already" She said offhandedly, offering up her hand. Where his fingers touched hers Loki let his illusion fade away till the greenish light travelled up his arms and revealed his face. His attire also changed to a dull olive and bronze colour.

"You're extremely under-dressed, Sif" He said, after sweeping his eyes over her dress.

Sif didn't bother commenting on it. She had been through this argument many times before, except it was Thor on the other end and not Loki. She sighed instead, and started when she looked down and saw that Loki had changed her clothes with his magic. It matched his, but with gold instead of bronze. She touched her hair and felt a clip, and pearls strung through. A few nearby eyes turned and began whispering amongst themselves. Sif gave Loki a dirty look.

"What transient joy you obtain from this foolishness is trivial. Why do you bother with it?" She said, more annoyed than angry. Loki always used his magic for silly tricks. And if not that, earth-shattering destruction. Quite literally.

"Oh enjoy something for once, Sif. That stern look doesn't suit you"

"And that smirk doesn't suit you either" She muttered, finally taking his hand.

"You'd only know that if you'd been looking at me" Loki half smiled at her as he guided her through the ever shifting crowd.

"I was, obviously"

Loki started slightly, not expecting an answer as forward as that. Then again, he had to change his expectations since it was Sif he was dealing with. She wasn't like most ordinary Asgardian girls. He took a moment to look at her from the corner of his eye. She wasn't paying any attention to him, but not to anything else in particular either. He twitched his finger and a thin gold circlet formed itself from the centre of her forehead all the way around, resting comfortably in her hair. She started slightly, hand reaching up to touch it, but Loki waved his hand again and it disappeared into a mist of golden dust. The dust made Sif glitter, like an enchanted witch.

 _Like I thought, it doesn't suit her._

"Why did you remove it suddenly?" She looked up at him, still touching her forehead.

"It's a bit garish I thought. Something Thor would like"

Sif pursed her lips to consider this. "Very true. Must be gold"

"How would you know that? You didn't see it"

"You like gold, don't you?" She looked up at him, one eyebrow raised.

"I do" Loki conceded after a moment. It wasn't really that hard to guess, though.

They finally reached the centre of the hall, where couples were taking up the space to dance. The music reached a crescendo, then, as if on cue, descended to a soft and melodious harmony. Sif's hand rested on Loki's shoulder, and his on her waist. They danced in sync, comfortably. After all, they had done this before on several occasions. Countless times it had been her with Loki, or her with Thor, or her with any of the other Warriors Three. They were her constants, in a way. It seemed too nostalgic a thought, so Sif let it go.

Quite suddenly, the music stopped. Sif frowned and looked around, and saw that everything had been frozen. Loki's finger lifted from Sif's waist, and he bent down to her ear to whisper.

"Let's have a little fun, shall we?"

With that, he waved his finger, and time resumed. The music continued, but on a different beat. The melody suddenly took over, and sped up twice as quick. Loki gave Sif a lopsided smile, and pulled Sif roughly against him. She felt the breath get knocked out of her lungs with the force, and lost her bearing completely when Loki spun her around and hoisted her up by her waist into the air, then back down again. The show had begun, it seemed.

All eyes settled on the pair with expressions of awe and amazement as they took over the dancing. Loki was in complete control, and Sif was simply a doll in his hands. With little snuffs of magic here and there Loki created a fantastic display of lights and movement. Each time Sif threatened to falter in her step, Loki's magic was there to save the day and put her back in place. Sif became gradually more and more dizzy, but was able to keep her bearings by concentrating on Loki's eyes. The magic couldn't distract her as long as she had a point of focus. The profound shades of green in Loki's eyes reflected the golden sheen that shone off his armour plates. All the while, his smile hadn't faded one bit. As the music reached another crescendo, Loki spun Sif out, then in again, and dipped her in one fluid motion just as the music descended into silence. In the moment between the end of the song and the beginning of the applause Loki lifted Sif up, and they stood in silence with their foreheads pressed together, little beads of perspiration dripping down the sides of their faces.

The applause sounded loudly in the hall, but came as a dull groan to Sif's ears. Her muscles were throbbing from all the sudden, bursting motions of Loki's crazy idea of dancing, and her mind was spinning. No battle had ever exhausted her to this extent. At that moment, her knees buckled underneath her and she collapsed. Luckily Loki's hand hadn't left her waist, so instead of falling over she looked like she was simply resting her head on his shoulder. Using his magic Loki made Sif appear fully conscious to the crowd as he guided her away from the centre of the hall. Once they had left the hall he let the illusion fall away and let Sif fall against him again.

"Was that really all you could take?" He chuckled, glancing down at her. His smile gradually faded as he watched the slow rise and fall of her chest. It was hypnotic, in a way.

Suddenly he frowned.

 _Something is wrong. She couldn't have been done in by just that much._

Loki's mind drifted to the thought of poison. He brought his hand up to her forehead, and to his surprise found it freezing cold rather than hot - as he had expected. In a sweeping motion he picked her up in his arms and carried her swiftly through the halls. He didn't bother opening doors, instead passing through them. He would have apparated, but he wasn't sure if Sif would be alright in such a state.

Loki stopped in his tracks. _Is it even my place to care?_

He looked down at Sif again and saw that her eyes had opened. He nearly jumped in surprise, but surprise quickly turned to concern when he observed that her stare was vacant.

"Sif?"

The only indication that she had heard was in a slight nod of her head. Her eyes closed again, and she leaned against Loki. They were only a few minutes from Sif's room, but Loki was tempted to apparate then and there. He had never seen her in such a state. A feeling of guilt began to creep on him.

 _Perhaps I shouldn't have pushed her._

Inwardly he scoffed at his own concern, but he couldn't stop it. Before he knew it they were before Sif's door. He twitched his finger and the door opened. He stepped through and it closed behind him. Without a thought Loki laid Sif on the bed and with a wave of his hand a basin began filling itself with warm water. He pulled a thick blanket over her and touched her forehead with the back of his hand again, immediately relaxing when he felt her temperature returning to normal.

 _Was it just in my head?_

Now that he looked, Sif seemed fine. Her breathing was shallow but even and constant, and the colour of her cheeks was a pale pink, but it wasn't pallid in the least. Loki shook his head and went over to the basin of water at the other end of the room. He touched it, and with another bit of magic infused it with a light flowery scent. On second thought, he withdrew it and replaced it with the smell of pebbles after rain. Sif always liked open terrain compared to flowery gardens.

A candle burned in the corner of the room, providing the only source of light. Sif looked like a sleeping angel in the dull glow of the flame, all soft and round and silent. Loki watched her from the corner where he was standing in silent contemplation. He didn't think about the past, or the future, but just about the moment at hand. For a moment he felt peace, standing there watching her. Here, there was nothing to preoccupy him.

There was just Sif.

The moment passed, and Loki's mind returned to the present.

 _It would be nice to forget about everything and stay here in this moment._

Loki pursed his lips and considered for a moment, then lifted his hand. He spread his fingers out, and drew a figure in the air, which his magic traced, leaving a green glow in the air. The lines disappeared, and then the whole room began glowing softly. The figure appeared in the air once more where Loki had drawn it, then the lines traced a path to Loki's forehead. Loki closed his eyes and let the magic return to him.

It was a memory.

The memory of Sif asleep in the candle light, forever sealed away in his mind.


	8. A Visit

Sif woke with an ache creeping up the back of her neck. It was just as the sun rose that her eyes opened, so the room was filled with light. She blinked her bleary eyes to get rid of her drowsiness and rubbed the back of her neck. The pain dulled to a throb, but it was still ever present. For a moment she kept her eyes closed and breathed a sigh. With that breath a wave of tension was released and she felt more at ease.

Today was a day of particular importance. Even before she had stepped out of her room she could feel the blanket of silence draped over the palace and its surroundings. Through the open window she saw, though the sun was out, the landscape was grey. Today she would be skipping her regular training, as would most of the soldiers. A weight settled on her chest suddenly. This was perhaps the most bleak Asgard had ever been since Thor's departure. Odin was here - but only she knew it was Loki in disguise.

Her eyes widened in horror and realisation. Loki would be leading the mourning procession for today. Her insides twisted at the very thought of him standing there, pretending to mourn for his mother. When Sif looked down she saw her hands were shaking. She flexed her fingers into fists and twisted her mouth in distaste. Any moment now he would come here, cocky as ever. He had been doing so for a while now. She didn't expect today to be any different.

When she entered her bathroom Sif found that the maids had already pulled out a dress for her. It was black, which was expected, and made of fine silk, soft to the touch and flimsy. The bodice was loose, and the sleeves were long. There was a veil and a hair pin shaped like a rose. It was made of dark crystal which shone purplish-black against the light. She quickly slipped the outfit on without washing, only powdering her face slightly so she seemed more awake. She pulled the veil over her head and stared at her reflection in the mirror, shrouded by the veil. With a sigh she left her room in an unkempt state. The maids would take care of it later.

For now, she had places to be.

* * *

All those who walked the palace halls did so with their heads bowed and their shoulders hunched. They all wore dark shades: black, grey, brown, blue. None wore gold, not even the young children of the nobles. In the throne room the highest officials of Asgard stood along the path to the throne, in which sat Loki. When Sif's eyes met his she knew he was using some kind of illusion magic to make himself appear as Odin to the others, as he had done so with her originally. It was a dirty trick for a day such as this. Sif conveyed her feelings with her eyes, but didn't know if he understood. Even if he did, he probably wouldn't care.

"Today we walk among our people to mourn our late queen. I am sure you all feel the weight of this solemn occasion on your shoulders, hence I decree that all official court business be postponed."

This was unexpected. Never before had court been stopped or put on hiatus - even for the death anniversary of a monarch. The hall erupted into murmurs and hushed whispers. Loki waited for them to die down before continuing.

"Please take this time to be with your loved ones."

Sif froze. She risked a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. There was no doubt - it was Loki.

Hearing his voice form those words was like a knife peeling the skin off her.

 _Loved ones._

Did he even have any?

* * *

No one was allowed to visit Frigga's mausoleum except Odin, Loki, and Thor.

Sif did not care.

She was surprised to find it unguarded, especially today, and immediately felt suspicious when she saw that the fires in the hall had been lit. This place was normally shrouded in darkness. Her footsteps echoed, making the tomb even more eerie than it was. The hall opened up into a large chamber with vaulted ceilings and gray stone walls that rose in a massive dome. At the centre was a twenty foot statue of Frigga with a sword in her hand. A depiction of her life and her final battle was carved intricately into the walls.

As Sif's eyes scanned them she realised with horror and disbelief that if Odin had actually been Loki all this time, _he_ was the one who had sanctioned all this. He was the one who had decided how this place was to be. He was the one who had decided where and how to bury Frigga.

The very thought filled Sif with a dull ache.

She climbed the few steps up to the altar with reluctant steps. When she stepped onto the landing light rippled from her feet towards the edges of the staircase. The illusion lifted, and there knelt Loki.

"Get out," he said softly. Levelly.

He was angry. She could see it in the curve of his shoulders. He was wearing plain clothes - something Sif had only ever seen him wear when he was imprisoned. She took a tentative step forward but Loki didn't shift.

Another step.

Still nothing.

Sif closed the distance between them, expecting and outburst with every step, but none came. Carefully, keeping her eyes on the statue before them, she placed her hand on his hunched shoulder. His breaths were so shallow she could hardly feel the rise and fall of his torso.

"You should have made a barrier at the entrance if you did not want to be disturbed. You dismissed the guards too."

She understood why. Even the presence of a single person within these walls felt like an intrusion to those who were closest to Frigga.

Loki was closest to Frigga.

"Do you know who killed her."

Sif frowned. He hadn't said it like it was a question. "It was Malekith."

"No."

Loki rose and Sif's hand fell away from his shoulder. "It was that girl."

"Girl?"

"Thor's woman."

Sif pursed her lips. "She didn't hold the blade, Loki." But even as she said it, she didn't believe it. She knew what Loki was thinking.

 _Even if she didn't wield the blade, she killed Frigga. If it weren't for her mistake Frigga would be alive._

They stood in silence.

"Thor doesn't know the kindness I've shown him," he said after a while. "I could have cut Jane down many times since then. I could have let Malekith kill her." Loki paused and looked at Sif. "You could have too."

Sif was silent. She knew, as Loki did, that she had thought about it before. About killing Jane. That insolent girl who had caused so many problems in their lives. She had dreamt of ending her life in a thousand different ways until she ran out of strength and hatred to fuel her desire.

Loki turned his eyes back to Frigga's statue. "You could have killed her, but your love for Thor was greater than your desire for revenge." His voice was resigned.

"Killing her won't bring Frigga back," she murmured.

"Even I know that much." He sucked in a deep breath. "But Sif, it feels so good. The ecstatic pleasure you get from exacting revenge. You have felt it before, I'm sure."

"Yes. But there are times where revenge will not achieve anything."

Loki shook his head. "That's the point of it. It is purely violence for the sake of pleasure. It is the height of hedonism."

"And would your mother the Queen have condemned such hedonism?"

Loki pursed his lips, but he had been expecting some sort of jab. "Why do you think I stayed my hand?"

Sif opened her mouth but was lost for words. Loki chuckled to fill the silence.

"After thousands of years of living I didn't think I would change."

"But you did."

"Perhaps," he said, and stepped forward to touch his mother's feet. "Or perhaps I just stopped caring as much."

"What has happened to Odin?"

"I don't know. He disappeared when Thor and I returned from Svartalfheim."

Sif had a feeling he was telling the truth. Suddenly she understood the need for the illusion. "You disguised yourself as him so that no one would know he was gone."

Loki nodded.

"Have you been searching for him all this time?"

"Somewhat. There are other matters to attend to."

"Finding the All Father is of paramount importance!" she hissed, afraid to risk raising her voice in the mausoleum.

"You think I don't know that? I _have_ been searching, but I also have the responsibility of governing the Nine Realms. It's not so simple a task."

"Why don't you delegate the work?" Sif was softer this time.

"Have you ever known the All Father to delegate his work? It would look too suspicious."

Sif sighed. "Then what do we do?"

Loki crossed his arms and turned around to face her. "We wait for Thor to return."

Sif raised her eyebrows. "That could take weeks! Maybe even months!"

"Though it pains me to say it, I need his help."

"He thinks you're dead, Loki."

He smirked in that way of his. "Won't that make it all the more amusing..."

Sif shook her head and looked up at Frigga's face. "You always were the more pragmatic brother."

"He is not my brother."

Sif huffed. "Why do you insist on denying that even now. It's childish."

Loki hesitated.

"You are just _afraid._ "

Loki raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of admitting that Thor is more brother than any of those frost giants ever would be. You _know_ you despise Jotunheim, even after knowing about your heritage."

He turned away. "You know nothing about my heritage."

"I know that for the hundreds of years we spent together you were Thor's brother, Odin's son. Frigga's son. My friend."

"Is that what we were, Sif? Friends?" Loki let out a soft laugh. "Even then I sensed something was wrong with me."

"What, your dark hair? Your clever manner of speaking? You skill with magic? Your hold over Frigga's affections? Do you think Thor saw you as any less?"

Loki sighed. "What are you trying to say, Sif?"

Sif paused. "I'm trying to say... Though your blood is not the same as ours, as Thor's, you were always one of us."

"And what? That absolves me of all my sins?"

"No. But that does not mean you can't atone."

Again Loki smirked. "Even if I atone Thor will never forgive me. He lost the capacity to long ago."

"You're wrong. Thor will look for every excuse to forgive you."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because one mistake does not erase hundreds, thousands of years of love and friendship. Of brotherhood."

Loki turned to her. "And you, Sif?"

"What about me?"

"Will you forgive me?"

Sif's eyes widened. She took a slow, careful breath. "I might."

Loki's mouth pulled into a sly smile. "Don't tease me now, Sif. You know that's my game."

Sif closed her eyes, annoyed that he was slipping back into his evasive personality. "Do you really care if I forgive you?"

"Of course. We're _friends,_ aren't we?"

Sif detected the sarcastic tone but remained silent.

 _You only care about one person's forgiveness, Loki..._

Sif looked up at Frigga again. The majesty of her was far greater than this grey stone rendering. How she wished she could speak to her again. Just see her alive again.

She knew Loki would give life, death, and the universe for it.

Loki smiled. "You're right, Sif."

Her eyes widened. He had been reading her mind.

"I give you too little credit."

She sucked in a breath and sighed. "I will see you another time, Loki."

She turned around and slowly made her way back through the hall. When she looked over her shoulder she saw that Loki had disappeared behind the illusion.

"She would have forgiven you. She would have forgiven you a thousand times," she called out, unsure if he was even there.

* * *

 **When even was my last update? LOL I PROMISE I'LL BE MORE REGULAR SORRRRRYYYYYYYY**


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